NFL Hang over Week 10

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10 things I'm thinking you'd think I'd think

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1. The Giants are already in playoff form. The defense is coming up with big stops. Brandon Jacobs is moving the chains. Eli Manning is picking up yards down the field when the situation allows. Even though it's not even below freezing yet, Tom Coughlin's face is already 11 shades of purple. At this rate, they'll win another title, and Coughlin will have an icicle hanging off his nose in Tampa Bay.



2. The Rams and Raiders are done, and they have been for a while. But they both have a shot at history. Why not make the move to an interim interim coach? The current interim coaches have only made each team worse, and the benefit of the interim interim coach is even if he does well, you only have to promote him up to interim coach pay. It's really a no-brainer.


3. Now I present the short play, "Daunte Culpepper Enters the Lions Huddle."



Culpepper: "OK, guys, I'll be honest -- I don't really know any of the plays yet. So just tell me a play that usually works well for you guys and we'll do that."



(silence)



Culpepper: "Anyone? Quick, the play clock is running."



(silence)



Culpepper: "Come on! Something. Kevin, first thing that comes to mind?"



Kevin Smith: "… we punt pretty well?"



Culpepper: "OK. Let's run up the middle three times and run that."



End scene.



4. Dolphins guard Justin Smiley on Miami's frequent narrow victories, including Sunday's escape against Seattle: "It stresses me out. I've got bad nerves as it is. I'm sure it was awesome for the fans, but it was nerve-racking." Then everyone slowly turned and looked at Ricky Williams.



5. I can't believe the Titans don't get more media love. They are the lone undefeated team and, more importantly, they can be described with countless football clichés. They have a great defense, and we all know "defense wins championships." They have a quarterback who has been described as both a "game manager" and a "gunslinger." The Titans aren't "flashy." They "just win." "There are no stars." "They play the right way." Come on, media! You can talk about this team without ever having a single original thought. They're time-filling gold!



6. Our financial institutions are falling apart. The EPA is a wreck. FEMA is a national joke. Now, Joe Biden is attending Eagles games? How many failed organizations can the new administration take on?



7. It's kind of fitting that the Lions "throwback" uniforms are really just the same uniforms worn by every youth football team in America that is so embarrassingly awful it can't wrangle up a single sponsor.



8. Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco have had outstanding rookie seasons. However, I heard announcers say of both of them Sunday that now we're past midseason, they are no longer rookies. In that case, they're not nearly as good. In fact, Flacco might be a massive bust.



9. At first glance, Monday night's 49ers-Cardinals matchup might not seem compelling. But in Mike Singletary we have a coach who, during a completely inconsequential home game on a beautiful Northern California fall afternoon, freaked out and dropped his pants. Now thrust Singletary into the pressure of "Monday Night Football." If that isn't marketable to a national audience, I am not an American.



10. No doubt in the past 15 days Mike Singletary had a sudden realization that after dropping his pants, kicking a player off the field and exploding in his postgame news conference -- all in his first game on the job -- he might have trouble getting his team's attention from here on out. I mean, how do you top all that? So if I may, I'd like to offer a few suggestions for the remainder of the season.