Bob Ford: T.O. and Buffalo strange pairing
By Bob Ford
Inquirer Sports Columnist
Perhaps there could have been a stranger landing pad for Starlab Voyager Terrell Owens than Buffalo, N.Y., but go ahead and name it.
Detroit? OK, maybe, but still a major city. Green Bay? Smaller, sure, but a constant blip on the national fan radar. Cleveland? Well, getting warmer, which is something that hasn't really happened in Buffalo yet.
No, this is strange, the first time that Owens has accepted anything less than spotlights and marching bands. In Buffalo, he'll be lucky to get a candle and B7 on the jukebox.
The good people of Erie County have endured more than 100 inches of snowfall this season. It was mostly lake-effect snow, but just as hard to remove from the driveway. A lot easier to shovel through, however, than the decision by the Buffalo Bills to hire Owens for the 2009 season.
"We took it up a notch today," said general manager Russ Brandon.
Oh, yes, the Bills took it up a notch. They gave hard-butt coach Dick Jauron the roster equivalent of a snake coiled beneath the paper nest of the Easter basket. They gave quarterback Trent Edwards, who might not have made it anyway, an unenviable grip on the slippery fire pole of his confidence.
And they gave Terrell Owens $6.5 million for the pleasure of his company.
Quite a bargain.
Agent Drew Rosenhaus - our old friend Johnny Brain Surgeon - said that several other teams were also interested in signing Owens after he was released by the Cowboys. The Buffalo Bills must have thought so, because $6.5 million for a 35-year-old player with decreasing skills is a decent windfall.
"It's another beginning for me," Owens said. "I looked at the defensive side of the ball and the offensive side of the ball, and these guys have all the pieces."
Something must have been missing recently from the puzzle, however, because the Bills have strung together three straight 7-9 seasons under Jauron, the very definition of NFL invisibility. Buffalo hasn't made the playoffs since 1999 and hasn't won a postseason game (aside from a single wild-card victory) since the 1993 season.
But the current team apparently has all the pieces.
"I'm leaving America's team to come to North America's team," said Owens, trying out some new material. "This might not be the most ideal place for a lot of people, but I go with my own intuitions."
And when have they ever failed him?
As badly as this might turn out for Owens - aside from the $6.5 million, of course - the Bills will be in for worse. The wide receiver has been in bad situations before but never on a truly bad football team, or, more accurately, a boring one.
In the absence of interest, the history of Owens suggests he will concoct his own. For his new quarterback, this should bring to mind two words: Uh, oh.
Edwards is entering his third season in the league. He might yet be a successful quarterback, but he's still waiting. In two seasons with Buffalo, Edwards has thrown for 18 touchdowns and 18 interceptions and holds a career passer rating of 79.1, which is as lukewarm as Buffalo itself is not.
If Owens had his issues with Jeff Garcia and Donovan McNabb and Tony Romo, good luck to Trent Edwards. Among the 28 highest-ranked regular quarterbacks in the league, none threw fewer touchdowns than the 11 completed by Edwards in 2008.
Owens is looking for a new opportunity and he's going to a franchise where the entire team caught fewer touchdown passes than he did by himself just two seasons ago?
Not likely. Terrell - and this part is very sad - is just taking a job.
"I must move on," he said.
He moved on because the Cowboys, like the 49ers and the Eagles, tired of his drama. The Bills, whose landscape has been as bleak and flat at the city skyline, could use a little excitement. Well, now they've got it.
Owens will almost certainly catch a bunch of passes for Buffalo and some of them will be touchdowns. He will become - upon his 49th reception - the sixth NFL player to record 1,000 career receptions. He will build on his 139 career touchdown receptions, second in league history only to Jerry Rice.
There will be moments, great moments, because Owens always produces those. They will be great because Owens is still capable of that, and they will be merely moments, because he has never been capable of sustaining more than that.
It's only a matter of time before the pretty snow turns to slush, though. Owens has ended more honeymoons than Madonna. The Cowboys released him - along with a chemistry-class cleanup that included Pacman Jones and Tank Johnson - even though Owens will still count for $9.5 million against the Dallas salary cap in 2009. That's a lot of space to eat, but the Cowboys thought it was worth it.
How long will it take for things to go bad with the Bills, and, more to the point, will anyone notice when it does? If a wide receiver yells at the offensive coordinator on the sideline in Buffalo, does it make any noise? Or is it just muffled by the chill of a national lack of interest?
That may be the perfect purgatory for Owens. He can take being loved. He can take being unloved. But being ignored will be a new experience entirely.
Welcome to Buffalo, Terrell. Make sure you let us know how it turned out.
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