Deep thoughts, cheap shots & bon mots
Scott Ostler
Sunday, March 8, 2009
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-- Now that the Arizona Cardinals don't need him, maybe the 49ers could snag Matt Leinart. Not as a guaranteed starter, but in the mix in place of Smith, who would make a nice understudy to Warner.
-- It's a mystery what went wrong in the 49ers' wooing of Warner. At the physical, did the 49ers' doctor neglect to pre-warm the latex glove?
-- Code blue: Warner obviously flunked the cardiology portion of the physical, because when he returned to Arizona, his agent said, "Kurt's heart is still (in Phoenix)."
-- Honk if you want to see Terrell Owens run a fade route. Into the sunset.
-- America's four-man bobsled team won the world championship, ending a 50-year drought. No surprise to this veteran observer. I could have told you the USA was going downhill at incredible speed.
-- Can you have a drought in a sport whose venue is a mountain of ice?
-- If you're mad at Warner and Manny Ramirez for using your local teams to leverage fatter contracts, spare a bad thought for Alex Rodriguez. In '07, with A-Rod closing in on his opt-out option with the Yankees, he took time to hold a press conference at the Giants' ballpark to extol the virtues of the city, the ballyard and his good pal, Barry Bonds.
-- I'm unclear on why MLB has put out the unwelcome mat for that Dominican doctor who is linked to steroids and Rodriguez. How is that fundamentally different from Bobby Crosby and Matt Holliday working all winter with Mark McGwire?
-- Don Nelson's "designated sitter" plan makes sense in a way the players can't openly acknowledge. The alternative is to decrease per-game minutes of key players, and while they all swear stats don't matter, they do. Andris Biedrins can cash a $1 million bonus check for averaging double-doubles. And Corey Maggette's scoring average could win him the coveted NBA Sixth Man Award.
-- Sandy Alderson may be the new Pac-10 commissioner. Feel free to fly your MLB flag at half-staff.
-- Santonio Holmes went to trial on a minor drug charges. The judge told him, "I want to commend you for donating your receiver gloves to charity. It shows you have a strong character." Holmes was sentenced to community service - watching the judge mow Santonio's lawn.
-- Darryl Strawberry said, "Hell, yeah, I would've used (steroids)." Strawberry would have smoked pine tar if he could have managed to roll it in the lineup card.
-- Coming soon to a bookstore near you: "The Giants' Way to Play Baseball," complete with sheet music for banjo.
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